Saturday, March 19, 2011

The things Dr. Sears never told me...and other things about motherhood

That toddlers will refuse to eat food from the plate you served them instead expecting you to share with them from your plate. And when you try to direct them back, they throw you the most cutest eyes you've hear seen and says "share?"

That toddlers will politely get down on the floor, lay still for a second as if getting together themselves or pumping themselves up for the moment before kicking, screaming, and riving on the floor as dying from the flesh eating virus. And all you can do is look.

Or that your toddler will need a nap as you upgrade your phone to an Iphone, and your husband forgets his wallet, leaving you in the AT&T with a toddler as he darts clear across town to get it. As the toddler goes into overdrive, he chases another toddler around the store, who is afraid of him, darts behind the employee desks, laughing all the way HO-HO-HO, all with his mother trailing behind him. After she finally catches him, she attempts to hold him as he decides to do his best impersonation of spagetti, trying to slide through her arms. She takes business cards to distract him, which he promptly chucks at the associate with the arm of Barry Bonds. The cards miss the lady simply because she ducked.

Or that I would be THAT mom with THAT toddler in an AT&T store, who only can hold her toddler by the arm as he tries everything in his 3 feet 27lb arsenal to break her hold. Or that I would THAT mom with THAT toddler who gets the stares from hell as hes arched his back, melted to the floor, screamed, hitting notes that Whitney Houston could only dream of, like I was a serial killer.

Or that toddlers remember everything, watch everything even the things you don't think you do, and do it later. The good, the bad, and the ridulously cute. They are jacks of all trades with muliple personality disorder and a firm sense what they don't like and do like, and if they are confused they are going against you just to test you. And wrapped up in their chaos and daredevil ways is the best damn thing in the world: them.

or that I would love Hayden so much that he would become such a part of me not as just his mom but a friend, a playmate, someone to seek guidance from, to call when he is scared in trouble and everything else in between. And after not nursing for months now, still remember that breast have milk and try to sneak a nurse in the middle of the night.

No comments: