Sunday, February 27, 2011

Day 13: A Letter To Someone

Dear someone...

2? Not yet! But getting there? Hayden, you turned 21 months a few days ago and I have noticed that I am way less emotional this year than last year. As a parent I can say with all honesty that I thought you'd never get to be 2. Not that I thought you wouldn't make it there. It's just that when entering my journey into motherhood, I wanted a baby. I wanted the cheeks with the love able fat, small clothes, holding an infant, rooms filled with the crystal pearls that is infant laughter - Not a toddler. Yeah, I knew you would grow up and over into one, that didn't mean I have to like it. Every time I thought of my baby growing into a noisy, busy terrible 2 tot, I cringed. I quickly Men in Black flashed it from my memory and envisioned babies, babies, babies. I wanted you to grow so we could do certain things still I never excepted such a change and that with every change and difference, you were shedding every bit of infancy.

Once you hit 1, I thought of you magically knowing everything and when that didn't happen instantly I settled back into "Oh, wait, at 1 you're still a baby? Score! You're just a big baby." Two months rushed by and I looked up and you were different: in looks, in proportion, in ability, and thought "and it begins."
You kicked into high ninja like action with lovely tantrums that sometimes made me pray David would get home, so that I could get a break. There was the lovely stage of whining for everything reason or no reason. I can't mark the day when your legs grew so long nor the day that your torso didn't grew from a tiny baby to hold torso into the long one you have now. I do recall the day I looked at you and saw "Wow, you look way different today. How did this happen." It was the weirdest thing, I thought you were like a changeling or something: same child, looks pretty much the same but you know the difference can sense the difference. With every passing month, at every end almost the beginning of a new one, you'd always change, or do something new. It could be as small as the way you looked at me, letting me know that you were thinking and calculating something. Or putting blocks in places you did before.
I never read stuff on toddlers the way I did infancy. I just didn't think much about toddlers. So in a way it has been a pleasant surprise that I love this age and even though I had lots of fun w/ "baby Hayden" You have no idea how much more fun you are now.
Sure I can't things away from you acting as if they have disappeared, you have long since overcome that, because you will follow to see where I put it and go get it again. In everything I have to be more crafty. I have learned the hard way that taking things and putting them high is a bad decision. You will money climb anything with no fear, wait strategically until my back is turned to retrieve it.
You raid my fridge at any given times. Grunting and gesturing that you want this and that. And after the millionth time of telling you "no, you can have this or that or - Okay, you can. Get in your chair," I ask myself how come the hospital never gave me a manual. Or when you tell me to "Shut up" with the gusto and 'tude of a child 5x your age, even though I never say the word. Or how you pick up words that I don't teach, or some you don't hear regularly, or comprehend things you shouldn't. (Well, that I think you shouldn't).
Then are the days, I trip over a toy, raving mad with embarrassment and frustration,and you come "You hurt? You hurt? I sorry, I sorry." As you rub my head. "Hug?" You hug me, "ahhh" (something I always say and now he says its really cute) and you offer a kiss, another rub before you grab my hand to show me something that you want to do. Be still my heart.
Even though I sometimes don't need you in my hair, pulling on me, asking me to come play with this or that and I'm really trying to get something done. I flash to the days that will come when I'm no longer a buddy, but "ew, Mom." And my time spent with you has dried up and you're off with Sally or Sue while hanging out with you buddies.
2 years are about to come, and I just think wow, 2 years, then 2 more, oh my 4 then 2 more you're in school already? Then 2 more, and wow you're my real big boy. My first, my eldest, the one I experienced everything with for the very first time. The first baby I carried for 9 months of anticipation, small kicks, and obsessive planning, the first baby that was mine to be held underneath a myriad of kisses and soft lips grazing your hair as I rocked you to sleep, eased the battle wounds of toddlerhood, or simply just while cuddling. The first baby I held on my chest awake way pass midnight just getting you to sleep because you refuse to close your eyes and lose sight of me even for your own good, to sleep next to me on my bed (Be still my heart, are these tears?) to awake next to, to go to sleep next to, to breath the same breath on gray and black dotted sheets night day, night day. For me to open my eyes to your soft breathing next to me, clutching me just a little too tightly, still loose in your valley of dreams but needing to know even in that valley that I am near.
You are my son, my love, my cliche. The tiny person that runs up and down my house babbling ferociously on his fake telephone, reminding of a business man whose stock has just plummeted. You are well versed, forever learning, forever getting into trouble, growing beyond any limits I have set, and faster than my brain can sometimes catch are process. You are Hayden. And I do love you.

This one is not edited but the others are, the last is new, but the two in the middle are dos from the photos I posted earlier in the week. See how much I've learned?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Just Right

Pictures! The other day I finally got around to getting my photos transferred unto the computer. I slowly messed around with Photoshop Elements 7, experimenting with lighting and color the most. I wish I could do a before and after but there is no point because the following pictures I originally took without a flash and the camera on drive, so the pictures were EXTREMELY dark. I just liked them so much I tried to save them. I am glad that I was about to do some color on them and fix some of the lighting (not all the pictures I could) but these I really liked the way the turned out so far. I just think that I could do way more with them, I just don't know how, such as softening, better warming on some. I'm learning but I'm sure I will get there. Another drawback, I was disappointed about was the noise that is in the picture. It is pretty grainy, but overall I like them.

These 3 pictures are the same I just did different things with them and couldn't decide which I liked better.

This picture is more natural with tone and lightening

This one is very light and pale

I liked the orange-ish glow of his skin in this one and how warm it is

I would some feedback, comments are not only welcome but encouraged. What's your favorite? Got any tips or recommends? Do share?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 12: How did you find out about blogger and why do you have one?

Okay,yes I skipped Day 11, literally. Total blogger fail. I don't have any new pictures of my besties, srry. I don't even have old ones. I really don't like pictures, I don't have many with my family either. Not even when I was growing up. I think I have taken only 2 pictures with my sisters. Ever. And probably have even less growing up. I really avoided pictures, so now you see why I'm really trying to take more of myself and me with Hayden. I have about 5 pictures of Hayden and I together out of the entire 21 months of his life. Yes, piddly.

So on with the show.

I found out about Blogger at I joined a blogger group in hopes of starting my own blog. Why? Mainly because I wanted a journal, I have always had a personal journal, still do. I had started a journal dedicated solely to fertility, pregnancy, and post pregnancy. I still have and write in it. I just thought that if I made an internet journal I would keep up with writing in it better, and maybe meet some more people like me. I started one, and major fail. I never wrote in it.
It all started with the author Richelle Mead, I fell in love with her Vampire Academy series: and soon after going to her website, I found her blog and became a reader. Her blog is at livejournal, which is where I post my poetry mostly now. (Plan on giving you a link soon promise) But I started my own. I wrote on and off. At first it was cool and fun, then when Hayden was born I sorta just stopped being interested.
I checked out blogger again after signing up for a google account and reading the author PC Cast's blog and the author Jessica Verday, and found Radar Love. I instantly fell for this little boy. What cuteness I thought. And was shocked at how regularly she posted. I started to follow her and soon started up writing in mine and so many months later here we are!

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

I love music so it is hard just to narrow all it down and just say oh its this and this or this. It is affected by mood, artist, lyrics, and whats happening at the time. So I'm going to narrow it down to what I listened to last time I was in those moods.

Happy: Bruno Mars "Grenade" and Emilie Autumn "Gothic Lolita"

Sad: Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" and "The weary Kind" from the soundtrack of Crazy Heart or Emilie Autumn's violin version of Bach's Largo(Hayden loves this song)

Bored: Green Day "Blood, Sex, and Booze" and Lady Gaga "Bad Romance" or Emilie Autumn's "Liar" Hayden loves Lady Gaga and Emilie Autumn, loving to dance off of their music but for some reason Lady Gaga always holds a place in his heart. Bad Romance I used to play at Christmas in '09, a year and so months later he still recognizes the song and will come dancing. Creepy and cool at the same thing, considering that during Christmas of '09 he was only six months old.

Hyped: The Pretty Reckless "ADD" or Some Sonic Youth

Mad: Evanescence remake of Korn's "Thoughtless"

I have added some more...

Calm: As much I love my music hard, I must say I actually a sucker for slow songs. Mainly because in music, I love lyrics, artists who are good lyricist are always good in my book. I can hate the song but listen to it over and over again just for good lyrics. So I play must music when I'm calm. Which I love Indie Rock alot right now. King's of Leon, Modest Mouse, Radiohead, Iron & Wine, so many.

Thinking/Reading: I love listening to classical music when I'm thinking, It is so emotional and puts you right the story or in with your emotions.

In the Car: The radio is usually on in the car I hate having to disconnect my MP3 every time I leave the car. I love country music in the car, something my husband got me into. Great stuff once you give it a try. Also, more mainstream music and hits. I am liking black and yellow (I really hated this song for MONTHS!) and whatever else is on the billboard charts that makes radio.

Last I love oldies. Don't get me started on all the oldies I love I can go back pretty far. LOL

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Day 9: Something you're proud of in the past few days

This little baby here...

I recently went off the deep end and purchased a DSlR Camera and I'm way glad I did. I love this thing soooo much, I'm impressed with every little thing it does.

I was never too much one for pictures unlike most of my family who take more pictures on a daily basis taken models. I ran and hide every time I saw any recording device. It was not for me. I even hide away from the camera in pregnancy, not keeping up with my weekly belly shots.Still, I was often taken by photographers photos time and time again. especially portraits and nature photography. But everything changed once Hayden was born all that changed. I often found myself stealing my Grandma's camera to snap pictures of Hayden. In August for David's birthday he got a camera for his birthday, which I quickly took over. I become a total obsessed Mommy snapping millions of pictures every second of the day. I was never without it, I was always behind a camera snapping pictures, capturing the moment. I nearly died when October 2011 came around and I couldn't find my camera I panicked, lasting only a week before I had to replace it. I just couldn't live without one. I literally was saddened without my camera, plus it was time for an upgrade because as I took more pictures I realized things I didn't like about it, so an upgrade was in order. That is when I got my Canon Powershot 1400, which I highly recommend. For those in Auto mode,it gives really clear good pictures. And it fit me until I delve deeper into photography and starting learning aperture, ISO, and many other nifty stuff that affects pictures that I don't want to burden you with. While many things on that camera is adjustable you can't change the aperture or shutter speed major draw back for me. So I started looking for a good DSLR and googling best beginner DSLR cameras and reading thousands of reviews and recommends, I narrowed it down to the Canon Rebel T1i or the Nikon D5000. And the Canon won out because of the variety in it.
Since I love editing photos, I also got Photoshop Elements 7, which if I become any good at, will be upgrading to that latest one. I do have plans to check out some more editing software. Recommendations are very much welcome. Any who, I am very proud of my camera and finally I have a hobby! Yay! Even though its not candle making, which I haven't forgotten about I still really want to get good at it, I am happy that I got another hobby this year. One New Years Resolution down.

Oh and some photography blogs for you to check out

Thoughts and Whatnot

A Sorta Fairytale


To Be Continued...

Yes, I am totally alive! I got my first DSLR on Monday, and I just love it to pieces. It is as great as all outside. She has quickly become my baby (cuddles camera obsessively) my precious, my precious,(Hayden walks in) oh, yeah, and then there's you. I have named her Bella because she will be as brainwashed, obedient, and in love with me to the point of always giving her best just like Bella Swan. JK. TEE-HEE! But don't expect my super nice camera pictures to be posted, I am having computer problems, which I really hate. My DVD Ram has decided to be a little witch, poking a thorn in my side and not read the install disc that comes w/ the camera. No install disc, no camera pictures. :( so plz, ppl I am alive and well. Hayden is still as energetic as ever. And helpfully, I can get this thing working so that I don't chuck it under a semi.
Times like this I wish I am computer geek extraordinaire

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

February is almost over sooo, I will do a short term goal for March. Okay, my goals for March

*Enroll into classes for college, yes, I rock, I am going back. Yay, for Mia!!! I am totally excited but I am going back to further my career in health care to become an RN. Right now I'm basically a Health Home Aide and I'm lucky to not have to pay for babysitting because Hayden can come along with me, when my Mom is not stealing him away but I think that Registered Nursing is such a fun/challenging career.

*Finish reading books on Nursing School, remember I'm a planner so I need to know all I can and as much as I can. TEE HEE

*Catch up on laundry. I don't dislike doing laundry, I dislike putting laundry away (No I don't count cloth diapers as laundry really, washing cloth diapers makes me smile, I fell like one of those stepford supermom's from the 50's). Putting laundry away with a toddler running around either yanking clothes out of the basket and beating me with it, thinking its a game or him trying to help. I really don't know what's worse, but the helping is as cute as it's annoying. That leaves to giving up my "me time" after he goes to sleep to put away laundry. CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT, anyone?

*Get a meal plan and stick to it. My days when it comes to cooking have deteriorated to nothing but salads (they are quick), eggs and toast in the morning, fruit for snacks (Always ready), and most likely fast food for dinner ALL BECAUSE "THE PLANNER" -that's me- CAN'T STICK TO HER MEAL PLANS. This is not good, people, so not balanced and my taste buds are dying of bordom repetition.

*Easter, Easter, EASTER. Well I need to plan in March for April, remember I'm the Planner

Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

The birth of my son, of course! Having a child has changed so much of me from my thoughts, who I thought I was, to who I am; what I want in life; the way I think; look at the world- Everything. I knew that from the moment I decided to have a child that it would bring a happiness and pleasure so fulfilling that it would overtake me. Having Hayden definitely the most thing that has impacted me. I have gained more patience, insight on me as a person as a Mom. I love having Hayden and he is imprinted all over me.

Monday, February 21, 2011


I took this nifty idea from Jess at Notes of Life & Love These are just confessions to cleanse the body, mind, and soul Truth time.

*I clean my room once every two weeks if I'm lucky. No, it never stays clean but if there is something that is getting left untidy it's the bedroom that no one sees but David, Hayden and I.

*I am paranoid. I hear bumps in the night "David, wake up, you hear that? No! Don't go back to sleep, wake up, go check it out." or "I heard something, go check on Hayden." If someone is not breaking in then someone is trying to steal my precious son.

*I totally want a 2ND in another year, but my husband won't give really he just doesn't want one, but will if I do. NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. I don't want to have a baby when he doesn't and just is doing it for me, where is the love and joy in that. I feel like I'm the wife asking him to go see a chick flick and to call all his buddies to go out with us too to see it, and he doesn't want to but does it for me. Heartache coming my way.

* I somethings feel like my Mom is raising my son. He is over almost from sunrise to sunset on some days and I just feel like I'm letting him get over too much. I love their relationship,its amazing to see him have fun over there, and she teaches him so much, and the love he has for her. He really, really loves her. He loves telling me bye bye, Mia, as he straps on his backpack to leave for Grandma's house. He loves it so much, and I get much needed alone time, I can't say no.

*Even though David works, I somethings feel as if I do more stuff. I take care of fiances, balance the checkbook, cook everything expect for meat, David always handles any meat that is for Dinner. I will do sandwiches but no chicken, beef, etc, nope, care for Hayden, clean, run errands, shop. The list goes on and on and he works for 8 sometimes 12 hours and comes home to sitting the rest of the day doing pleasure stuff. NOT ON MY WATCH. I am going 16 hours and over caring for house, Hayden, and working. WHERE IS MY BREAK? See my frustration so I am totally going to make him take out the trash, bust some suds doing dishes and make him take me to the library when I am too sleepy too drive. I know he works hard for the money but if I went out and started working outside the home, I still would have the same responsibilities plus work.

*I wish I had Hayden older, like at the age I am now. But really, I never would have waited, it's great! And the longer I wait the more chances of me never having children are :(

*I sometimes am on the computer longer than I want/should be

*I make David put Hayden to bed now (Hayden cooperates better with him and Dave is way better at telling him it's bedtime, go to sleep) and even gets up through the night with him. But guess what? SHHHH , don't tell anyone Hayden has been sleeping through the night and in the mornings I can sleep as long as I want to while he plays in his crib until I wake up. Yup He doesn't leave his crib anymore, yes! All because David is super Daddy, I would have never been able to accomplish this

*I think women more changes/sacrifices when it comes to having children. It took months after Hayden was born to back the time to read, but for David even after Hayden's birth he had time to play video games.

*I am a hoarder. There its out. I keep stuff, and more stuff, and then some. I have thrown away twice between pregnancy and now but I just keep things, I have so many of my apartment closets filled with bends filled mostly with books and paper, some hand me down items, and I can't toss I just think I could need/use this one day

*Which brings me to the apartment, we need a house. Yeah, but not really, okay our closet space is horrible because we have so much stuff (thanks to me) but everything else is great. Sadly right now renting a house is not even in the budget, not without giving up saving a little every month.

*I eat out way too much. SO much the other day we passed mickey Ds and Hayden saw the golden arches and started screaming "MA, MA!" pointing at it. I could have hung my head in shame.

*I have lost all of my baby weight. YAY!!! And then some, and the funny thing is I lost most of it doing nothing I had 5 or 10lbs left to lose. I started weight watchers just to cheat almost everyday, I never really was good at counting calories or in their case points. So I told myself since I had no problem fixing Hayden healthy meals eat what he's eating. I lost all the weight and more in a week.

*I need to stop spoiling Hayden, it's not that bad but to me I'm bad. I don't always give in but I am a huge softie that I never thought I'd be. I don't do tantrums but all he has to do is smile and/or hug me and I'm butter. AH look at that smile. Here you go.

* I am going to do more crafts with Hayden. It's just hard to find the time

*lately I have been in a fog, I didn't want to do nothing. I felt bad, I think I was depressed, over what? I have no idea, but I could barely get up in the morning when Hayden woke up at that time. I slept into sad hours getting up at 10 at the earliest and 2 the latest and was still tired. I awake yesterday like nothing. I had the best damn day with Hayden in months. We played, we tickled each other, danced, sang, played outside, went for a walk, IT WAS SO NICE. Today has been the same. I don't know what it was but I see a difference now.

*I overwhelm myself. With things to do, to accomplish, to achieve. I do too many things, I aim high, sometimes too high, I need to just chill and relax sometimes

*I need to buy myself more stuff. I know, materialistic, nooo not me. Its just that I am getting into photography alot and clothes, I should buy myself something a least every other month if not every month. Hard to do when I just think of spoiling Hayden.

New Stuff!

As you all can see I have switched around lots of stuff, removed some and added. But the most thing I am excited over is...

MY BUTTON! It is on the right side, just yelling grab me grab me. It took me forever to make this, so, so much stuff. Alas, it is here, along with my reworkings of my blog. Feel like a million bucks, enjoy!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Day 6: Favorite Superhero and why?

I heart Batman!!! I am super when it comes to knowing my superheros, I used to be big into comics and literally as a kid watched endless amounts of tv and my favorite shows involved superheros. Okay, the why?
Superman isn't super and he isnt a man, he's a normal alien, who lives among men.
Spiderman is a mutated man, who was bitten by a radioative spider and given powers.(He comes a close third)
And Xmen are humans with whacked out genes that give them super powers...
notice a pattern here. But Batman. He is 100% human and 100% without any super abilities and HE. KICKS. BUTT.
Batman rocks my socks everytime. He basically is freak with an obsession for putting away hardened criminals, that uses nifty gadgets to get the job done and has the money to build the stuff. Batman is geek on a mission basically. Love it.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 5: Picture of somewhere you've been to

Srry, I have no pictures of me there I went when I was like 19 with my ex BF but it was the greatest thing besides my time with David in Yosmite(Need to go back there ASAP with Hayden)

I have been to a few places, I love to travel, I would travel the entire us and the world if I had the time and Benjamin's for it. So I choose the furtherest I have ever been: Nashville, Tennessee. I loved this place. I loved the architecture, the history that is in the buildings, houses, they still even have plantations standings here. So much richness to explore. P.S I am a huge history buff. I love anything old. I tell this is from my Grandma, I was raised by her and I have a great appreciation for antiques, vintage clothing- Anything of the past. She is from the south. Born in Phoenix, Arizona and raised in Texas. She even still has her accent, and because of her accent, I, along with my siblings say some words with a southern accent. And have weird sayings like "You think fat meat ain't greasy" (My husband hates when I say that) LOL

Friday, February 18, 2011

day 4:a habit that you wish you didn’t have

This is hard, I say the habit of getting off track. I will go to do something and something else will come up, and I will become consumed in that. I will go to write a blog and end up reading blogs by others. I will google one thing and end up 2 hours later still googling something else that stimmed from the first search. Grrr, I just hate it, messes up my time.

Got Dirt?


Toddlers are notrious for being messy

We shrug don't judge just laugh and clean up...

Still I am jealous! I mean

Why can't dirt look this cute on me?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

30 DBC Day 3: A picture of you and your friends

I really don't have any pictures of my bestie and I, we like to take pictures not be in them. I'm pretty sure though that she has some still on her computer that we took with her camera but I am all dried out on pictures.

Still that doesn't mean you aren't going to get a pic...


Definitely in the bestie category

He loves me!

And this is my 100th post. Yup, that's right I have don't 100 posts today, yay, all of my time with Hayden. My oh my how have you grown? I love this age so fun.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 2 30 DBC: The meaning of your blog name

Wow, the meaning of my blog name. I came to blogger very much pregnant, after someone at Cafemom told me about it. I literally had never blogged anything, anywhere and was listening to a Katy Rose song named License to Thrill. I drew a blank and came up with the name.

But now thinking about it, I may change it if I can, maybe...Gotta think about it.

Monday, February 14, 2011

30 DBG Day 1: Recent Picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

I took this picture yesterday randomly as I'm trying really hard to take more pictures of myself and more pictures in general.

I am really getting into photography and I am falling deeply in love with not only taking pictures but editing them as well. Which leads me to...

15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I have always wanted to do photography with my BFF for years now but have always put it off. Following many blogs about photography struck up my lust for it even more and once I noticed that over 25% of my computer's hard drive was taken by pictures of Hayden, I thought why not try?

2. Would be a total oxymoron to say on a post about interesting about me that I am not interesting at all? In my eyes I am a total bore. I read, I care for my son the best way I know how trying not to drive myself crazy in the process, I write, I dream, I clean, I try to avoid rest as much as I can.

3. And that is where number 3 comes in at. I hate sleep. Why much we need so much sleep? I am 200% plus jealous of Hayden's energy! I want so bad just to go days on end without sleep and not feel tired. Because I love to go over 150 mph sleep is not on my radar, not even a blip. It is not uncommon for me to kick myself for staying up late and having to get up in like 3 hours.

4. I love to be busy. I am a multi tasker by nature. I have to be doing a million and one things to be satisfied. I am a total renaissance woman! And yes, I do them well.

5.Because I like things perfect. I am a bit of a perfectionist. I have to be the perfect parent, wife, blogger, writer, reader whatever. If it isn't perfect I am giving myself a good talking to. But since becoming a mom I am less hard on myself, so happy about that, but still it sometimes creeps up into my mind.

6.I love knowledge. Whoever said knowledge is power is wonderful! I love reading on so many different subjects, researching on random things, and just gaining knowledge in just about anything and everything that strikes me as interesting. I think my love of knowledge comes from my curious nature. I love to investigate, see how things work and what makes them work and why.

7. I LOVE CREATIVE ARTS. I draw, I paint, play the piano, guitar, bass, and drums, dance, write, and now I am getting into photography. I love crafts.

8. I never wanted to be married nor have kids. By no meaning was my marriage or Hayden an accident. My marriage story is so weird even to me but funny. David proposed twice, I said no the first time, he came back later and proposed again, for which I said yes as long as we didn't have a big wedding. (I thought it would be stupid to save so much money on a wedding when we could spend that money on a new car, which we needed, or the savings for a house) And yes at the age of 20, I thought about these things. I set no date and randomly one day woke up and asked do you want to get married today. And four years later, I am still just as random and think too much.
My want for a child came once I saw my cousin birth her baby. It looked so painful, she looked so helpless. I thought there had to be a better way and started reading on childbirth. My search for a better way lead me to natural childbirth, which I instantly felt a connection to, I later started reading on infants and sooner or later I really, really wanted one.

9. I am a tomboy. *GASP!* I always have been even though I grew up in a household full of girls (4 girls including My mom, sisters, and I) and one brother. I never played with my sisters though. And my brother and I were so close people thought we were twins. We are 11 months apart.I don't know why but I loved getting dirty. I played baseball, I was even on my high school football team, skateboarded, climbed trees, the works. I remember hanging out with mostly boys in high school, half of my friends in life have been boys. I just got along better with boys (probably why I always wanted a son.)

10.I am nothing LIKE the Mom, I thought I would be. HMMM. It kills me sometimes, it causes lots of Mommy guilt, but I am more laid back then I thought I would be. Hayden and I have a very loose schedule. He plays most of the day, I try to play with him at least twice a day, I love reading to him, and just recently he will sit still long enough again to finish an entire book. When he gets older I want to do many crafts with him, teach him to skateboard, and play an instrument. And he so far is totally into these things. But even though I don't watch as much tv as I'd like (the free time I have is taken by reading my #1 love) and that rubbed off on Hayden. I have been trying to get him more into tv, yes, that's right! I don't think that tv is the enemy I think parents who think that tv is a substitute from them teaching their kids are the enemy. When he does watch tv, I usually am surprised at all that is taught (and there are many education tv shows for toddlers) I love walking into the living room, watching it with him and going over things. Or even the look on his face when he reads about Elmo and knows that Elmo is on tv. A video of Elmo got Hayden to pee pee in the potty. So parents stop punishing yourselves!

11.I love nature. I find so much beauty in the trees, lakes, everything that is outside around, sometimes the beauty in this Earth takes my breath away. Living in the city, I love parks, especially lush ones with many trees and lakes. I could laid down in a forest and never leave. It is like home to me. For my honeymoon, my husband and I went to Yosmite National forest and I loved it. We hiked, I wish I could go hiking more. I wish Hayden will take my love of nature with him

12. I am a former vegetarian. One day soon, I will go back. And no I don't hate people who eat meat. You don't know how many times I have been asked that.

13. I am addicted to Twitter

14. I love guys with long hair. Go figure that I marry a guy who loves to have as little hair on his head as possible.

15. I hate old numbers if I see an old number I quickly look around for another odd number to add multiple or whatever I can do to make that number even. I love even numbers because I feel like with an even number if you share everyone can have the same amount. I don't know why just weird.

30 Day blogging challenge

I got this blog challenge from Morgan at ourlittlebirds

Feel free to join in on the fun

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song

Friday, February 11, 2011

Catching the Green Monster

I'm on the computer editing some pictures when I notice...


Every Mommy knows silence is never golden

I called Hayden and he ran into my room, mouth wide, bearing his pearly whites, with this on his hand.....

My heart dropped, I jumped up, running into his room to inspect the damage

He got green on everything

He presented it so proudly I couldn't even be mad

I told him paper, pointing to the paper that was on his desk
his response "ooo, oh man. " Grrr.

I set to work cleaning and he came over

"I sorry"

My heart grew 2x man "I'm sorry" I told him it was okay and gave him a baby wipe when he insisted on helping

I love him so much it is ridiculous and my oh my are we growing and changing

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

NOT so Wordless Wednesday

"Hey, what's this?"

"Hmm, Mommy took it I'll take it..."

"Need to be slick about she looking? Wait for it..."

"She moved! Go, go, go!"


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Last Week In Photots

A collection of Hayden last week from left to right: playing in his toy box, Brushing his teeth in the sink, pulling wipes from the container, playing with my MP3 player, playing with his bubble gun, and a day at the park.

Friday, February 4, 2011


Whenever people are around Hayden they say really the same things: he is a total boy, he has the energy levels of five toddlers, and that he is really muscular and strong. Hayden does have lots of energy, he never ever sits down or stops literally I mean he is up either playing or running around. It extends to T.V too, lots of parents have to cut their children away from the T.V. with the jaws of life but not I because Hayden will not sit for T.V. very long. He will sit to watch just a few things: Elmo, which he will dance to, and it seems he likes extreme sports. Yup, extreme sports. David was watching the winter x-games and he stopped playing with his cars to plop down next to Daddy and watch it. This was not the first time he had done this, he also sat down next to grandpa to watch super cross too. Today I decided to test that theory. We watched Moto Cross and some skating videos and boy oh boy was he glued...

I think that I have found something that Hayden really likes. He really is just like Mommy and Daddy. Daddy, who is a free rider, and Mommy, who a skater = Super Toddler that likes Extreme sports.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Somethings are never on time

Recently, David and I had a pregnancy scare. It took lots of courage to muster up the strength to walk into a store purchase a test and monumental power to actually use the thing. And it came out a...big fat negative.(BFN) I wanted to jump up and down maybe do the moonwalk, I did though sing, but actually I WAS DISAPPOINTED. I do have major baby lust, but who doesn't when they see their tiny infant who used to be *this* small turn into a full grown toddler, who cries something evil when you take them out of the sink. I want a baby again, I am a total Mom! I want the small outfits that come only with infancy, the ability to sit them in one spot and not having worry that they have escaped the house when you turned your back for one second. The babies that laugh at stupid, silly things and that have a little tiny happy persona, satisfied with even the littlest things. I WANT THAT BACK. It is what I miss the most. Don't get me wrong though, Hayden's age group is tough but it is my favorite time. He plays more, interacts with me more, he really like a tiny kid right now. He is a big helper, loves to be chased, draw, build, and color, and more.
But my scare put something into prospective: David is terrified of having another child (weird) this guy turned white as a ghost at any slip of the tongue that involved "baby" and that my baby lust is subsiding. Because I totally over it.
And while I know the idea of having another bouncing baby shouldn't be a "scary" thing but for me it always is. The anticipation, preparation - emotional as well as mental, literal, and physical - all can take time. It takes time to adjust, to settle into anything new, and I know life is full of those: big and small, but an infant is a gigantic one. It is money, time, energy, life shattering as well as life changing. The same way a person really wouldn't want a surprise wedding (boyfriend pops out "surprise! We are not going to Dinner but to the altar, yay!!") you really don't want a surprise pregnancy. Some are more welcoming than other, while some just go with the flow.
I AM A PLANNER. So hard for me to admit, I love planning everything, I love to envision how this will be or go with that, it is one of the many things that keep me very busy and keep me sane because I another thing I hate to admit is I'm a very high strung person. (EKK!) I plan finances, what books I will read in what amount of time in what month, goals for my future as well anything that involves me, anything you can think of it's planned! I have sort of learned to go with the flow with Hayden but even in his behaviors and temperament I have devised a plan or routine. In high school I used to love going to classes where the teachers had written on the board what we would be doing that in that class, and dreaded classes where I would just sit down getting pulled here and there not knowing what was coming next. I like structure, I love knowing what is going to happen (except for movies and books), that is me.
And when it comes to pregnancy, I am no different. I have plans on baby number being the second and last, the infant to complete our family. Plus, I know that there is no way possible that I can talk David into having 3 kids, took me two years to convince him to have a second. I want to do the same thing I did with Hayden: read on infancy, natural childbirth, breastfeeding, and more. Why would I want to do all that when I know what to expect? Because I am an information-holic for 1, and for two I loved it in my pregnancy with Hayden it made me really want him, and anticipate him more. I want to go back and even read on fertility, I loved the information I got from that. And while I would love to just get pregnant. I love planning it even more. Next pregnancy, I want to plan, plan, PLAN. And not be "surprised" but really isn't there surprise in every pregnancy?
P.S. I do have a baby coming soon, my sister is due with her first child, a girl, at the end of this month! I can't wait to be an Auntie!! And for Hayden to have a cousin. This will be his first cousin that is younger than him. All his other cousins are on David's side of the family and older he is the baby there and on my side he is the oldest.

Wordless Wednesday: Toddlers do the weirdest things

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Rooms are made for cleaning, and that's just what I'll do

Hayden's birthday is fast approaching (in only 3 months now) but I am having it way early around the end of April- beginning of May to accommodate his Great Grandma coming to visit. This will be her first time meeting Hayden and I am so excited that I wanted her here to experience his b-day. Meaning I have even less time to book a location, plan a party, do invites, and much more when I am already swarmed with responsibilities. (Adding more to the ever growing to do list). One of the many things I have been meaning to do is go into Hayden's overstocked room and toss some of his toys. This child of mine has so many toys it is crazy, he just about plays with only a quarter of them and to think he will be getting them by the truck load come his birthday, they really needed to be thrown.
I buckled down and told myself:
Subconcious :"Mia, this will be the last week with Hayden's room having so many unused toys. "
Mia: "But I'm tired..."
"SO! I'm tired of his room being overcrowded with toys that you can donate!"
"But some are from infancy, maybe I will have another kid that can play with them."
"AH! When you go back to school for a career then we will talk other kids, but for now we can't carry all these toys. Now TOSS!!"
"No buts, only work and results. Now 'git.' "
And David and I tackled the forest that is Hayden's room.

Prior to our early spring cleaning, Hayden's room had been thrashed. I'm talking hurricane status. The how and why I'm not exactly sure but it was horrible.

See this messy room

Hayden is used to getting his room cleaned as he helps Daddy clean it every night before bed. And I totally LOVE this age, hehe. We told him we were "cleaning" his room in case he threw a fit from h#!L to save his toys. But he was cool about it. He took to "cleaning" very well helping put some toys in my donation bag (a bag trash bag), helping Daddy organize the room that Mommy wrecked even more, and putting his trash in the trash. It was very fun for him...

He played with some of his untouched toys

He Climbed like crazy, whether it was onto his stepping stool to just to jump off again or from his stool to his buzz ride on and back up again (he made a really fun (for him) but scary (for mommy) game out of this.

Out of like thirty minutes of cleaning, tossing away toys (it is amazing how many toys a child can get from infancy to their 2nd year), reorganizing, and straightening up we did it - we did it- we did it!

A clean room! That is not as crowded

Now for his closet...

A Mother's work is never done, but I can put it off until at least next week, can't I? And God help me once I get the courage and strength to redo my room, probably around Easter if I can put it off that long.