Okay, our sleep arrangements with Hayden went south once again. Breastfeeding him to sleep worked one day then not the next and after a couple of nights with my 15 month old son staying up until 1:00am like a teenager, made me repent on thinking he was too young for sleep training. I guess I thought that Hayden would grow out of being put to sleep and then do himself and from there he would go into his own room and bed.
I love to breastfeed, I love to cuddle Hayden to sleep as if he is still that tiny 7lb baby that I brought home. I never in a million years thought I would have to sleep train, I really never gave it much thought. What I did know was that I would breastfeed, that I would co-sleep, to beware of sleep trainers, to let Hayden tell me when he would was ready to stop nursing...but after seeing him literally beat his head on my living room floor because he was so sleepy that he could no longer stand it, I knew I had to some kind of action.
Hayden still loves to breastfeed and I'm not taking it away from him, I just don't want him going to sleep nursing if it's not going to put him to sleep when he needs it. I think if he knows how to lay down and put himself to sleep he will be less anxious about sleep. I feel such like the WORST MOTHER that ever walked on this Earth. Because I have to take full responsibility for letting his sleep get this far out of hand when he depends on me. I am the one who led him to breastfeeding to sleep, at six months all I had to do was lay in the bed next to him and he'd fall asleep. I should have kept it like that, but with his decrease in nursing I thought that he should be put on the breast at night to keep my supply up and his weight (he wasn't fully on baby food yet.) I was DEAD WRONG! And I feel that Hayden is paying the piper for it. When I tell him no he can't nurse to sleep he has full blown fits, I'm talking instant tear works, screaming at the top of his lungs, pulling at my shirt, hitting me. He is so offended that he can't nurse.
Today a started a sleep log to see how much sleep Hayden gets, this will also spill into sleep training to make sure he is getting an adequate amount of sleep every day and night.
Tonight I put him to bed, telling him that I would be near and that he'd have to fall asleep on his own. Hayden doesn't like laying down, so after I laid him down once the tears and screaming started. I simply repeatedly laid him down every time he got up, I did not leave the room as to keep him down every thing he got up. He cried for about 10 minutes that seemed like hours, quieting down eventually to listen to the light music I was playing in the background (as an infant he loved going to sleep with music, especially Jewel.)And within minutes of quieting down, he was knocked out.
I don't mind him still being in my room but he has to be in his bed because he is such a wild sleeper I don't get any sleep with him in my bed. So he has to go into his bed. He is still too young to be in his own room, but I do plan on taking that step when he is two. Well, that is all for now, and after so major tear works on my side for my baby having to cry to sleep, I may be fine, even if a little drained.