I have been really into creating designs and art. My brain has been racing thousands of miles per second, spilling out design and art concepts and ideas. It excites me with an overwhelming sense of happiness giddiness, and "I can't flippin' believe it," that I could find something that I love doing and that I think is made for me. It is a perfect way for me express and let out the many ideas and thoughts I think everyday.
Another thing is I have bounced back and forth, flipping, changing what I saw myself doing and wanting in a career. I have so many interests and things I love doing that finding my place was hard. And nothing I settled with was perfect, I always felt like I was sacrificing something - some other part of me when I decided in things in my career. With art and design, I feel whole. It has everything I love and want to do in it - it is so vast.
Everything I love is artsy- has to do with creating! I love to create visually, I am a visual person. But I feared for a long time a career doing things in the arts. Until earlier this year when I finally realized that I always came back to it, that everything that I loved, that excited me was all in the arts and involved creating - that that was where I belonged. Many things opened it lead to graphic design and art. Tomorrow I start school. I am super excited! Unbelievable to see myself actually here in this moment knowing what I want to do and doing it. It makes me a better person - a more happy person, seeing me fulfill my dream of finding a career I love and getting an education in it.
I am planning on changing up somethings on my blog. I have decided to try to "grow it." I want to find other mothers who are designers and create art of all levels and mediums. I know I started this in pregnancy and came into the whole "mommy blogging" but really I don't feel anymore as if I'm taking over "Hayden's blog." I started this to chronicle my life during motherhood, thoughts, happenings, feelings on life. I have come to think this too is apart of my as a mother. Becoming and being an artist that is craving time to create and be artistic alongside being a mom.
I plan on updating my banner and button with designs by me and maybe changing the title. I can't wait for the next upcoming weeks so I can start uploading more art to my blog. For months I've had a deviant art and plan to finally start posting my art, photography, and designs.
Of course, I am scared but I also see my fear as good because it means it's happening things are coming along. Plus, I love the confidence that comes with looking that fear in the eye and beating it. It makes me feel as if things are coming true.
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| When Everything withers away The Important Things Stay |
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